Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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