I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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