I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize