i can't believe i had my finger in that
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
