We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
You brought string cheese to the strip club
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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