you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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