Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
my sisters under your porch take her home
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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