there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
