ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize