Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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