Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
this is an emotional support booty call
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize