Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
