how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
