at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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