is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
