so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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