Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
