dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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