You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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