I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
