I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
foreskin is a definite game changer
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Randomize
