I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
