question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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