My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
