i jhust puked up my retainher.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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