I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
