...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
