Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
