All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
