I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
