Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
