did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
