paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
It was like getting head from an anaconda
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
