just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
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