I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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