he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
