listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Pants are for mortals
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
