i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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