so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
