if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
How's work?
Spinning.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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