you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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