her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
