there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
