It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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