She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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