I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
