good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
me + whiskey = a bad person
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
