So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
