i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
