I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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