Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
