Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize