o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
