I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
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