I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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