Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
