I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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