I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
