I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
