If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
