I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
