You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Randomize
