you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
