Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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