why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
