Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
She tied me up with her honor cords...
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
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