im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize