he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
