i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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