i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
