Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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