Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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