Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
